Gratitude and Goal Setting

New Goal: Eye Exploding Bikini Bod

2011-04-26T14:02:00.000-07:00

You may notice on my facebook page that there are no pictures of me in a bikini. There are photos of spring break, Cuba, cottage trips, even triathlons and swim events but you'll be hard pressed to find a picture of me in a bathing suit (let alone a bikini).

Well, this is the year. I'm knocking on the door of a quarter life crisis - so the time to be hot is now!! So here I am, publicly committing, this summer, to posting a picture of me* in eye exploding bikini sexiness.

I haven't quite decided which one of these girls I'll look like yet. Maybe the one in the white? Criss cross is kinda cool, no? Or maybe a bit more life shifty eyes over on the left. Either way, it's gonna be awesome. So get ready folks. Awesome progress update to come.

*Photoshop masters apply within

Goal Accomplished - Networking Ninja

2011-04-25T11:47:00.000-07:00

The last couple of weeks have been a whirl of events. From Hashup, Sproutup, Foursquare Day, and coffee chats galore, I seen first hand the type of awesome party this city throws!

Even better, I can say with each event that's passed I've become more confident approaching people, and ended up making new friends each time. Sometimes the best approach is to just be yourself, and see where the night takes you. Photo evidence of a guardless Katherine Duffy below. Who let these nerds in?

New Goal - Conference Magic

2011-04-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

I've got a bright and shiny new goal to add to my list; make HRevolution awesome!!

I get to go on my first work trip later this month in Atlanta, Georgia, and man am I pumped. Since this is such an incredible opportunity, I really want to make it awesome. In real terms that means,

Take care of myself in the weeks leading up to the trip
- Get enough sleep, eat well, de stress and make sure my most wonderful self is in attendance (rather than the sub-human mongrel type creature that comes with a case of the grumps)

Connect with attendees before hand
- You know that this will be an awesome event when one of the organizers calls you to personally welcome you! A great tip that I got from Ben, one of the organizers, was that once you "sort of know" everyone there, it become a reunion of friends rather than an awkward first meeting. This is the best way to ensure that real conversations, and real results ensue

Have a blast!
-Go out of my way to ask questions, meet people, try new things and live it up to the fullest!

Have you ever had a similar experience? tAny other tips for making it wonderful?

Employee Engagement

2011-03-29T11:52:00.000-07:00

Publishing Goals

2011-03-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

Are you telling the right people about your goals?

We all know, that a powerful force in goal setting is engagement. And what better way to be engaged, than by having a motivating partner to push your forward.

A lot has been said about the dangers of sharing goals with saboteurs - that sometimes those you rely on to motivate you can also contribute to your downfall. So the question inevitably comes up - am I telling the right people about my goals?
I choose to post my goals publicly, both at work, and in my personal life. This is because of my firm belief in the benefit of feedback.

I know that I'm surrounded by brilliant people. And that, by working together for hours a week, they MUST know things about me, and how I can improve. But if they don't know my goals, how can they help?
Take a look a how you share your goals. Is the benefit of guarding what motivates you, and what you want to achieve outweighing the possible momentum that a great piece of feedback would give you?

I miss my Gus.

2011-03-21T07:53:00.000-07:00

My mom sent me this cute picture of Gus in the leaves by the house, as proof that he is ok staying with them for the week.

I'm sure he's enjoying sniffing the leaves in the suburbs, and chasing the chippies and squirrels in my parents yard. But its not quite the same to walk around our home without hearing the pitter patter of his little feet.

I hope that at least I make good use of his doggie vacation to knock some stuff of my list, and have some quality time - taking care of all of those things that usually get pushed off for the responsibilities of daily life, or the worries of rushing home.

And then Sunday... oh how we will play.

Who would've thought

2011-03-18T10:10:00.001-07:00

I have left performance reviews crying.
I have left performance reviews planning the search strings I will use to look for new jobs.
I have left performance reviews hating everyone I work with, even myself.
But, I have never left a performance review feeling more happy and comfortable.
Until today.

I'm still new in my role, and have had just over 15 weeks to get to know my manager. Many of those weeks were during the holiday season, or on the crazy busy days of the start up norm. So not only is he smarter, older and more powerful than me - but my manager is also relatively unfamiliar.

But something interesting happens when you have an open culture.

You get amazing visibility into how people are treated and what to expect. I can see how fair, patient or open minded someone is by watching how they interact with others, or hearing feedback from the team. I don't have to plan my words, or wonder what impact each feeling I have, will have on my career. I know exactly what is expected, what works and if I'm talking to someone that will help.

And as a result, who would've thought... you can be honest.

Today I left my performance review feeling good. And It's not just because I work in the most badass company in the world, with a supportive manager and inspiring team. It's because, for the first time, I was able to actually tell a manager what I truly felt. And because I shared my concerns, my achievements and my opinions - I got a real solution. And real reprieve.

And that feels damn good.

St Patricks Day 5k

2011-03-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

Obviously this is an amazingly flattering picture of me.

But then... BAM! This picture makes up for it.

Sweet time!

Proudness and beaming ensues.

Next time you see a post race time it'll start with a 33. Mark my words.

Happy St. Patties Y'all!

Spring!!

2011-03-16T16:44:00.001-07:00

After weeks of darkness and cold, and more weeks of miserable rain, I can finally feel it!! Spring!!

My favourite time of year for sitting on patios, exploring on bikes, and shopping for new shoes (is that a less admirable hobby?).

But seriously, how awesome is this folks. Pretty soon our silly feather stuffed jackets can be shoved into storage and our smiles and madness can be unleashed on the world!! (Yup. Be afraid. Wild eyed Kath is en route.)

What're your goals for spring?

HR is dead. Long live HR.

2011-03-14T19:07:00.000-07:00

Just a few years ago I was completing a post graduate Human Resources Management program. Even with our noses in books, and a deeply focused analysis of HR trends, none of us could see the scale of changes that would be coming our way in such a short period.

Our program focused on ‘traditional’ HR techniques – ranking, measuring, documenting – and how to use these techniques to support organizational goals and strategy. While the focus of HR is consistent, these methods are undergoing rapid transformation – and what will define outstanding HR professionals going forward, is our ability to capitalize on these changes to support our teams.

Many of the administrative tasks associated with HR are now outsourced, or automated. As a result, businesses are demanding new expertise from their HR staff. To add value, modern HR professionals are now becoming more strategic and proactive, and have to be experts on all social and technical trends that can improve their teams.

"HR is dead. Long live HR," -- one way of saying "the old HR"--that which emphasizes expertise in transactions and documentation is dying. Experts project "some of HR will go away. Some of HR should go away."

What will rise in its place? As with any revolution, it involves a fundamental shift in power. In this case; a shift from top down demands, to bottom up engagement. Performance management, is and will, become a tool for the masses; a tool for individual employees to take control of their own careers, and their own success. Only with this type of progressive and autonomous strategy, will modern organizations be able to retain the top talent in needs to excel.

So far in my career I’ve been lucky enough to speak with thousands of HR professionals – many in some of the top technical and creative companies in the world. The overwhelming trend I see, that is so much more obvious to me now than it was years ago, is that to stay competitive in this changing world of performance management, progressive HR professionals must be as agile as those they are hired to support. The ability to find creative, forward thinking approaches to supporting employees – and understanding that supporting individuals supports the business, will be the sought after traits of HR professional that will thrive in this new world.

I am, so that you are.

2011-03-11T09:14:00.000-08:00

When I work hard, my parents are the proud mentors of a hard worker.
When I am critical, my friends are a negative persons friend.
When I listen and help strategize, my team members are colleagues to someone who supports their goals.
When I am unreliable, my brother is the sibling of someone who doesn’t do what they say they will.

Who I choose to be defines who I am.
Who I choose to be also defines who you are in my life.
And it also works in the reverse!

When you share yourself openly, I am a person surrounded by love.
When you think only of your needs, I am a selfish persons friend.
When you are a thrill seeking, experience junky, I am the friend of someone who allows me to try everything I’d ever dream of.
When you are striving for greatness, I am an inspired cheerleader of someone doing their best.

Inspired by Matt. High Five.

Success and Feedback

2011-03-04T10:39:00.000-08:00

Notoriously forthright Simon Cowell is known for his concise, honest, and sometimes brutal feedback. In his recent interview with for the OWN networks ‘Master Class’ series he once again gives the straight goods, on success and failure.

What can we learn about the importance of feedback from this former American Idol Judge?

1. Have an opinion

Given his track record, this should come as no surprise. Simon argues that to really stand out, you can’t be a “nodder” who agrees with any inane idea. Top performers have true passion, and give their feedback whenever possible. To be successful as a team, it’s important to give regular, honest feedback to help improve the vision of a project, or performance of a team member.

2. Be curious

Simon explains that in meetings, he will make a point to ask a question of everyone in the room. Not just to engage, but because he really wants know the answers. This allows him to expand his own knowledge, by having access to the opinions of others. “Soaking up information like a sponge” is a key trait that he attributes to his success

3. Identify success, and react accordingly

A key move that Simon made early in his career was to identifying a more senior colleague on a clear path to success, and closely watch their behavior. By having a mentor, whose habits and accomplishments were constantly visible he could align his strategies and learn at an advanced pace.

Consistent feedback helped him identify trends, improve his own behavior and help his teams. Why do most successful people screw it up? According to Simon its “… because they stop listening”.

My constant check list

2011-03-04T06:53:00.000-08:00

This year has been a total deviation from my experiences of life so far.

I have seen the best, and worst in people. Conquered, and failed, ridiculously complex stresses. And am now watching the dust settle.

One thing I've learned is how important it is to have reminders of who you are, outside of trauma - what your default settings are, and how they relate to your current status.

You wont always be on your A game. That doesn't necessarily mean that you've changed, or aren't as magnificent. Sometimes, it means that you're pulling through mud, trying to carry the most of your good that you can carry. But finding your way back, and rebounding quickly, means a lot.

I'm happy that in each bump in the road, I've managed to bounce back relatively fast. Unfortunately when you have consistent bumps, sometimes its hard to see revel in those highs. But appreciating what has been overcome to get there is so key.

Writing this out, as a reminder to myself that next time I leave a stress, to enter more stress, that NO MATTER WHAT, I have to

1) Get enough sleep; the key to the rest of the list

2) Exercise; to balance mood and feel like a rockstar

3) Read; to have more interesting conversations, valuable reflections, and... cause I love it!

4) Listen to good music; a synonym for don't loose what you love, and what makes you - you. Exploring music has been an essential part of who I have been since I was 12. Somehow I went from weekly shows and music blogging at AW - to barely listening to top 40 radio. Never again.

5) Self love. Always make time for personal goals, and some good old fashion you love.

Whats your checklist for feeling like your full self? How do you show your self love?

So this is the new year. And I have no resolutions.

2010-12-28T09:33:00.000-08:00

Oh late December. The time for self critical regret and failure focused revelling.

We ate too much at Christmas. Didnt buy good enough gifts for our families. Feel guilty about the effort mothers put into clothes that dont "fit". Worry about taking time off work, and falling behind.

Tis the season to feel below standard?

Let's switch gears here. I want to use this time to allow some light to fall on joys and accomplishments. Even if the joy is from a less than perfect behaviour, like sitting in jammies all day. Let's celebrate our experiences from both sides.

Hooray for our failures! Hooray for sub par. Hooray for up close and personal understandings of imperfection. A good strategy relies on good insight. And what better way to find our paths to joy, than to stumble down, and up, them all.

So tis the season for celebration. And not just because in a week we will have a medley of pressures to set goals, strive higher and make resolutions. But because we know that being the best comes from having the agility required to set goals, and fail, CONSTANTLY. Regardless of if my calendar tells me to.

The Declaration of Deserving

2010-11-23T11:42:00.000-08:00

"If you were the best in the world at what you do, how would you behave?

This question is revolutionary. Let it seep into your bones, rise up into your psyche, and inform some smart-cookie action. Value yourself THAT MUCH and everything changes."

Check out the Declaration of Deserving and lets ponder a bit about our work. Because really, "we're such hard workers. Hardened, some of us, from working so hard to deserve what we want. Working to earn. Earning more...work. Earning your keep is a viscous cycle, you know. Where as, believing in your implicit worth liberates you to create more value for the world you serve".

Creating value by being valuable. Thump. Huge wrench lands in the industrial model.

So now that we're all renowned experts, what shall we do? Well I'm already the best, so I can relax a bit about all of these performance pressures and long hours. I guess what I want to focus on is pushing outside the norms, being a leader and supporting my team. An accessible expert, that leads by example.

Alright, well... ready, set, go!

Pushing forward

2010-11-20T21:26:00.000-08:00

So much has changed in this last year. I'm so proud of my record of jumping in with two feet. Some great advice I read once, commit, and then figure it out. And boy is it true.

Travelling across the continent to try a skill totally outside my comfort zone with perfect strangers. Trying my first 5k. Establishing an entirely new support network. Putting down independant roots. Following my heart. Making bold moves. Speaking my mind. Protesting for change. Selling my first piece of art. These are the things that I want to look back and remember.

Hopefully the internet will preserve this blog long enough for me to look back and also remember the moments of stress, conflict, chaos and fear that inevitably come with change. I want to be able to remember that at any time, anyone can falter, freak out or get nervous. And remind myself that I have definately missed opportunities to appreciate people, to appreciate challenges, and to appreciate myself. But hopefully what I remember most is the pride I feel in making my own decisions, knowing when to ask for help, but then when to trust my own gut. The strength I feel in stepping outside of what I know I can do. The optimism I feel in supporting and pushing others. And the urge to push myself that I get when I look at all of my faults, failures, and mistakes.

In the face of this regret, self doubt, criticism and pain.. I'm reminded of another great piece of advice, given to me by a fiercly inspiring Jason Fleming "Dont let them fuck with your confidence to the point that you would think failure would ever be an option. You know what you're made of".

And the goal from there? Find someone who respects my opinion, and wont take it personal when I dont always defer to theirs. Someone who is ok with being needed, but doesnt mind that I'm out 4/7 nights a week for my own stuff. Someone who acknowledges how much I've busted my ass this last year, and knows what I am capable of. Someone who wont judge me for letting my guard down, or bail on me for being human. And someone who will hold me to it to do the same, and knows that I will.

Respect, love and understanding. Pushing forward.

Fall in love with the highest image of yourself

2010-11-04T13:20:00.000-07:00

"When I grow up" is a poignant, sentimental, story driven discovery of different women describing how they have found their dreams, tapped into their passions and are living their lives at their full potential. One woman describes her desire to "be something that no one else has ever experienced". Another recommends dreaming big and falling "in love with the highest image of yourself". A bold, inspiring, and motivational approach to making career inspired moves. And of course, the ultimate career woman - Barbie - with over 125 different skills under her belt, is the inspiration behind it all.

You think your identity is complex? Poor Barbie, caught in a tangle between the most anti-feminist and empowering female icon of all time. If she's anything like me, she's probably just happy to get the conversation started.

So what was your dream? What vision did you have for your life? Are you living the wonder that you hoped to inspire when you were young? What are you doing TODAY to live up to it?

I've found the hardest part about goal setting is breaking inspiration into those small measurable components. Viewing challenges as everyday opportunities as opposed to "in 5 years I will be the manager of a Fortune 500 company". But viewing each day as a step toward a larger goal does one important thing - it ups the anti for your productivity and really challenges you to strive toward checking off accomplishments daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly. While daunting, this can be a really focused and productive approach to tackling your biggest dreams. A practical method to bringing down your Goliath goals.

There is a time for everyone where this is overwhelming and there seems like there is no place to start. This is what the goaltender site was designed for, I hope when the time is right you check it out.

As a side note, this post is dedicated to my oldest friend Bronwyn, for teaching me that before the age of 10 I could already be an inventor, an artist, a singer, extreme biking expert, 'race car' driver and a snow ball making pro.

We all have something to say, let's amplify our voice

2010-11-02T12:16:00.000-07:00

The Empire Club of Canada hosted an Luncheon today with Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and luckily I had enough excitement running through my veins that I was able to remember most of what she discussed.

Interestingly enough, Canada is an important market for Facebook. Canadian users average over 5 hours a month with Canadians being considered most friendly (ie. most indexed, most active users and most heavily penetrated group of facebook users). This is a huge indicator of how this social, individual focused, communication era has really become engrained in our society. An optimistic note for Canadian Linchpins!

Like Jonathan Lister, Sheryl compared this social era to the early days of the web. She noted that early web users were anonymous and tight knit in their communication due to security concerns. Remember your mom telling you about preditors on ICQ? And to make sure your real data was nowhere to be seen? You'd introduce yourself as "Hi, I'm nicegirl123". Well, Sheryl argues that in this current social era it is now unimaginable for most users to communicate without their real identity because now the focus is all about people. REAL people. The web, marketing, and your use of these tools are all focused on people.

Sheryl explains that opportunity is hugely expanded now that the web is moving from the information age to the social - and the stakes have more emotion involved now that the wisdom of friends prevales over topic driven algorithms (like Google). She used an anecdote of one woman helping another woman across the country by seeing her need on facebook and donating her kidney. Where people who need organs were once considered the invisible victim, and it was hard to take action or save the life of an anonymous number - the social world make all of us visible and makes it easier to act. This can be replicated in politics, business, education, you name it - because everyone uses social information differently. And, because this information is entirely personalized, there are now more unique profiles than there are websites. So Sheryl notes that obviously websites want to personalize and get in on the action. Referalls and references from friend are valuable and facebooks is the #2 referall site out there. Real relationships have statistical success over unemotional data.

The most exciting part of this change for me is the power shift; the transfer of control from top down speeches to individual conversations. Marketing, like the web, is now about people. Everyone is a marketer. New media is a two way dialogue - meaning it doesnt talk at users, its maps out their connections to brands, products and figures and users this communication as power. This gives us a huge opportunity to listen, rather than talk. To go where users are, rather than make them come to you. By doing this you make your customers into marketers, and your fans become your endorsers.

Sheryl is totally accurate when she explains that when you put people at the center of your focus, and empower them, you are more effective. Tools like Facebook are revolutionary because they let you do this at scale. So the web, like EVERYTHING, is now being rebuilt around people. The voice of the invidivual is of paramount concern. And the amplification of this voice lends itself so much power that it can allow complete strangers to donate organs to eachother.

So what will we do with this power? How will you lend your voice to impact the world?

Lessons from Linkedin

2010-10-30T01:42:00.000-07:00

Jonathan Lister is a truely inspiring speaker. I'm so pleased that I was able to hear his thoughts around the changing world of work and its implications for employees in such an intimate setting this week.

In a nutshell; Jonathan reviewed the changes in the internet and how it has impacted job seekers. This was broken down into three parts; the Portal Era (AOL, etc.), The Search Engine Era (Ask, Google, Yahoo) and the Social Networking Era. The success of this Social Networking Era, Jonathan argues, is that it captures subjective data (Best manicurist on Bathurst vs. Location of Nail Spa on Bathurst) and "ah-ha!" moments better than engines and portals (which mainly organize objective data) ever could. As an executive at AOL, Google and now Linkedin, Jonathan has participated in each of these waves at their pinnacle time. His take away message was that in the era of social networking, capitalizing on your network is an important way to make enlightened career moves that leverage your experience.

Jonathan's tips were along the lines of other great thinkers like Amber MacArthur and Seth Godin, advising that you use your network to;
1. Manage your personal brand
2. Tap insights
3. Make decisions
4. Solve problems
5. Help those we care about
6. Accomplish more with less

In this new era, Jonathan argues that everyone is an entrepreneur, with their own online identity and brand. Thus, relationships matter. I couldn't agree more. But in speaking about this, the part I feel most connected to is this strong feeling of "pay if forward" which he refers to as "The Business of Karma". This allows you to help others while simultaneously creating global networks. This is a sincere act that works in line with the role of insights mattering more than information (Search Engine Era v. Social Era). It's not just having information; its using it for a meaningful purpose.

His best tip? Remember that your reputation is not your achievements, is what your contribution to the world is daily.

So on this road to living the GREATfull, blissed out, and inspired life that we all seek, Jonathan reminds us to
1. Experiment
2. Learn
3. Network (in sincere, authentic and principled ways)
4. Move (He's live in over 6 countries!)
5. And Take Chances

What can you do to start? Well get a Linkedin account. Read "Power Friending" and "Linchpin", outline your goals and then from Jonathan's end, he advises that you;

1. Leverage your own personal authentic brand.
2. When you do this you can build networks that you can rely on. His list is vetted by "Do I know you well enough to write you a reference - a large emphasis on quality over quantity.
3. Then, create your own communities - get into what you're interested in!
4. This will allow you to take advantage of your own global network.
5. Do what you love
6. And.... HUSTLE! In his experience at Google, the best people were the ones that worked the hardest, knew what was going on in the world and were ok to play and experiment.

Feeling inspired yet?

Boldness, Genius, Magic, and Power

2010-10-29T08:40:00.000-07:00

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in ones favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: 'Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it! Boldness has genius, magic, and power in it.'" --W.H. Murray, of the Scottish Himalayan Expedition

WOOHOO!

2010-10-26T07:22:00.000-07:00

Today, I am the luckiest girl I know. Thanks to the awesome Innis College at the University of Toronto, I get to have a fully catered, fully educational, lunch with Jonathan Lister - the Country Manager of Linkedin.

Working in recruitment, and using Linkedin everyday, this is a pretty big deal. More importantly, as a former fellow Alumni of Innis, I'd love to pick his brain on how he used his skills, motivation and guts to attain such a cool position. Wish me luck!

Take the Challenge!

2010-10-25T19:40:00.000-07:00

I like this new ad from the Globe and Mail. Inspiration to be innovative on your own.

Let's get off our laurels and take the challenge!

Comment for a cause

2010-10-19T19:16:00.000-07:00

The Federal Cabinet is currently reviewing a project that has been approved by the BC provincial government for an open pit gold and copper mine. This mine is proposed for northeastern British Columbia draining into Teztan Biny (Fish Lake). The environmental damage of this development, and runoff, would have huge impact on the subsistence and cultural identity of the Tsilhqot'in people.

In Taos I learned how Blue Lake has cultural significance to the creation stories of its people. How it feeds everyone in town without being filtered. How it supports every aspect of culture, from wild game to home baking. And how its cost millions of dollars, hundred of people, thousands of hours and decades of political and legal pressure to restore to their people.

Having seen how big of an impact this lake and the surrounding water have on the Tewa people of Taos its difficult to avoid the importance of this and its potential harm for the Tsilhqot'in people.

Amnesty International is calling for a letter writing campaign. To make it easy, how about you just write a brief comment to this message. Come on, it'll take 2 minutes. Then I'll mail it and do the footwork. Just email me your name and mailing deets.
To learn more, or see samples of letter writing content, check out the amnesty site or www.protectfishlake.ca. Either way, it cant hurt your brain to have a read.

Motivation

2010-10-18T15:40:00.000-07:00

An exercize in turning negatives into positives:

Today ~~sucked~~ was an opportunity. Two particular examples I will explain.

Suck #1 My friend at work has been raving about this new blog that she reads. We're both into trying to lead healthier lifestyles and this new blog is quote "hilarious, the girl is so cool.. plus she's our age and from Toronto". Wicked! Motivation and Inspiration abound, lets all share in.
So today I get the link - the girl is of course, none other than the girl my ex started hanging 24/7 with the day we broke up. Sweet.
Green eyed jealously and neaseau ensues? Answer below...

Suck #2 Come home to a text from someone at my work. It doesnt seem to quite make sense because it references me carrying baked goods and fat asses. Re-reading a few times I realize this text is ABOUT me, not to me, and obviously meant for another coworker. Tears and self hate to follow?

The answer to both? No. It's motivation.

This blogger gal is awesome! Good for her. I am awesome too. And if others mistake me helping my coworker carry items for a charity bake sale as unawesome - well... all I can do is keep bringin the heat and hope that the next time someone texts about me, its in a similar fashion that my friend described the blogger.

Fucking While Feminist

2010-10-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

Jezebel has done an interesting series on this topic. This is one womans take on it.

High five!

If I had $2000 (If I had $2000)

2010-10-16T13:37:00.001-07:00

Valentino Aphrodite Leather Tote. I love you.

Goaltending

2010-10-14T06:36:00.001-07:00

Do you set goals?

Do you tend to your goals once you've set them?

Why is goal setting a good idea?

Check out lululemon goaltender for some interesting discussion and aids on setting goals.

Thanksgiving

2010-10-11T17:27:00.001-07:00

What an amazing year. I am so grateful for all of the opportunities that have come my way. I cant imagine having not had all of the wonderful experiences these last few months have brought - despite any of the obstacles or heartache. This year I give thanks for so much! A new condo, new friends, awesome travels and an unforgettable partner in life. So happy and appreciative right now, and perfectly timed for this day to give thanks.
The next few weeks will be centered around harnessing this rejuvenated spirit into long term benefits. I have the clearest vision right now for my life; what is important to me, and where I want to go. My new goal setting will revolve largely around self improvement. This will manifest itself in several important ways, but most notably in my job, home, health and lifestyle. Hopefully by this time next year I will have scouted out our new home in Portland, have a sweet job as a Habitat Affiliate creator on a reserve, and be living a healthy lifestyle that includes a regime of handcream usage and early bedtimes. Weird goals? What can I say, I know exactly what I need right now, and if lack of handcream usage is an obstacle to my happiness then who cares how weird it sounds - its getting taken care of.
So heres to giving thanks, not only in reflecting on our privilege - but in harnessing it for future happiness.

Lunch break!

2010-10-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

Change of plans - we're going to Colorado "real quick" curteosy of our contracting lead Rick! What a day!!

Gorge sunrise

2010-10-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm playing navigator for Jon while he lets me use his android. Jon and the rest of our team have been really good with talking to me about life, relationships and happiness. I've been able to clearly define what is and isn't acceptable and good ways to plan. Pretty valuable.
Now we are pulling into the Rio gorge to watch the sunrise. Last night we watched shooting stars and constellations in the mountains. The natural beauty here is breath taking, photos won't do justice.
Our team lead Jenn had explained that each time she returns home its impossible to explain the experience to people outside of the team bond you form. I hope that's not true, I want everyone to know the smell of the mountains air, the sound of the rivers and the amazing feeling of accomplishment and love that we get to share everyday. As we sit here and watch the sun poke through the clouds above the mountains I can honestly say this has been an amazing day already.

Taos Valley

2010-10-07T14:36:00.000-07:00

We are really making progress with our build! The exterior is done and Jon and Lynda are finishing the shed. With help from another team in the winter the whole place will soon be done!

Tonight after our work we'll be heading to Taos ski valley to check out the historic district, amazing views, and a highly recommeded restaurant. Right now im at the point where i genuinely do not want to see another taco or cheese and chilli concotion for the rest of my life. Last nights meal at the Tewa Kitchen was probably the best so far - buffalo meat and squash straight from the Tewa reserve and authentically cooked. It was amazing!
We've heard great things about this place tonight too, fingers crossed!

Homesick

2010-10-05T19:36:00.000-07:00

I am officially missing home like crazy. Don't get me wrong - we've had an AMAZING day. But the last few days away, and all these country songs about needing your man and being away from home are getting to me. I need my Mr. Awesome and some good snuggles! Long night to go, its only 8:30, hopefully I find a distraction from my empty side of the bed.

Hot Springs!

2010-10-05T06:25:00.000-07:00

Part of me wonders if we went through Sante Fe and Albuquerque first so that we would be more surprised with the state of Taos. Even in the tourist part there are a lot of closed down stores and abandoned vehicles. The Pueblo reserve though, its unbelievable. People are using rusted metal siding, wood and garbage to build housing. There are stray dogs every where, no paved roads, and signs that say enter at your own risk. Wednesday we plan to visit the Pueblo more in depth. Today we work!

Right nows its 7 am and our team has met up with the other Habitat team and we are waiting to head over to our build. This new team is more of the young hip team, made up of consultants from all over the US. What they consult, I still dont quite get, but they seem nice.

After work today we are stopping at the hot springs under the mountains. Hopefully pictures to come.

Speechless

2010-10-04T14:47:00.000-07:00

Words cannot express how shockingly bad the conditions in the Taos Pueblo reserve are.

Taos Day 2

2010-10-03T19:42:00.000-07:00

So it's day two here in Taos and I'm already totally pooped! We've been through Albuquerque and Sante Fe so far and both were beautiful.

Sante Fe reminds me a bit of old Montreal, except in the really obvious Mexican and Native American inspired ways, but in terms of the touristy/yuppy atmosphere it was very similar. I seemed to be the only one on the team to comment that all of the people in town were selling Native American art works and souvenirs but they were all white - yet the natives who sold actual native work sold in sitting with their things on the ground - without the constant flow of business that the stores on the main strip had.

Speaking of the team - we're awesome! Everyone is getting along so well. At first I sort of thought that each member of the team represented a certain part of the US that was completely different - but over the last 48 I'm really starting to see beyond the stereotypes and enjoying getting to know people individually.

Lynda and I are holding it down for team Canada - amazing everyone with our lack of knowledge about green salad dressing and sugary cereal. Todd - the bold Italian from Rhode Island, and Stephanie - the sassy Tennessee gal, both apparently speak the same language but their accents are SO different you would have no idea. Our team is made up of men and women, equally divided from Chicago, Buffalo, Boston, Pennsylvania, Jersey Shore (actually), Rhode Island, Missouri, Tennesee, Florida and Kentucky.

Lynda and I arent the only ones going into this as friends - our leaders Meg and Jenn have done trips together before in the past, and two of the guys have been friends since college. Despite the previous relationships, I can honestly say everyone is getting along really well, mingling, sharing and genuinely enjoying learning about eachother. I am so optimistic for tomorrow's build. It will be our first day on our site in Taos, as well as our first day of work. Although we have been getting up before 5 every day so far, this will be the first day that we do this followed by manual labor. Wish us luck!! More updates to come :)

New Ruling

2010-09-30T11:06:00.000-07:00

In a pleasant surprise, not a day after I posted this musing an Ontario Superior court removed criminal sanctions involved with solicitation, essentially recognizing the rights of sex worker in Ontario. Now it's up to the Federal government to determine how this plays out further. An interesting coincidence, very good to consider...always something to think about.

Teaching a lesson

2010-09-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

Have you heard about the elementary school teacher in New York that was just fired for publicly admitting to being a former sex worker? Jezebel covered the story, originally published by the Post, and has brought up some interesting ideas worth thinking about.

The teacher is using this case as an example of how America fears, and consequently isolates, sex workers. She explains "I realize the truth - that it is not sex work that society fears is dangerous, but sex workers." This is not a new idea, sex workers have consistantly been targeted through legal and social initiatives throughout history - but I think that another argument is worth thinking about here.
Yoav Goen of the Post has reported on the story describing her as "the tattooed former hooker and stripper" - interestingly its not so much the sex work that stands out, but the idea of living an alternative lifestyle that is the target. Perhaps its tied in with the idea of a woman harnessing her own sexual power for monetary gain that is feared. And the idea of teaching this type of independance and sexual freedom is more of an issue. One parent touched on this saying
"She's not a good role model. I do not want my daughters to find out about this, and I do not want my daughters to be around that kind of person."

Now I dont necessarily disagree with this decision, but I think we should avoid muddling the issues. I would imagine the grounds for dismissal should be that she has a criminal record, and people that work with children all have to pass this basic background check. The criminalization of sex work is a hour long debate in itself, but no matter your opinion, at this time in New York it is illegal and that should be the issue. The fact that all of this only started once she became openly critical of the Craigslist removal of sexual opportunities throws, what many could argue is a legitimate complaint, out the window.
Jezebel argues that sex workers should have the ability to live openly without reprisal, and thats a tougher sell. I think that in cases like this its important to be cognistant of the law. In a world where the law hasnt yet caught up to society and doesnt reflect the values of all its members, this becomes especially problematic. But read the article and decide for yourself. And for an interesting alternative perspective, check out The Rumpus' take.

Live Green

2010-09-25T13:45:00.000-07:00

I feel that your surroundings can play a huge impact on your life. I've always been a plant and garden nerd, but I've been trying to up the amount of greenery in my life as of late. Plants in my house and at my work were the regular, but a new addition is sprouting.

Maybe its that watching things grow, and having access to a consistant flow of organic produce distracts me from living in a concrete tower. Or maybe its part of this whole "healthy eating" thing I'm trying - but so far so good! Even seeing them on my counter reminds me that the dried pasta I would normally cook is not a real food item..

Anyway, for your viewing pleasure (and my bragging rights) oooh and aaahh over how nicely my first batch has been growing!!! YAY!

Day Four

From Day One

1 year make and break

2010-09-24T05:56:00.000-07:00

Do you think that bad things seem to converge all at once by coincidence? Or is it your mental state that brings on the bad, or just make the bad list seem longer?

Right now I'm totally stressed and drowning in bad. My parents are coming to visit tomorrow and will undoubtably have a lot to say about a half painted mural on my wall - let alone a million other knit-picky issues. I would take the time to fix that if I werent working 8:30-7:30 all week! And now I feel as though the stress from that is creeping in everywhere, making this blog which was set up as a "Thank you world! Awesomeness is everywhere!" to more of a "I hate everything, blah blah blah".

At the risk of isolating my massive reader base (Donna, Slieks, Jon, I'm looking at you) I've decided to take advantage of the massively positive forces I have in my life (Corkers!!) and follow that lead.

Maybe its not the universe ganging up on me, maybe it's my attitude sabotaging myself. Re-evaluation and restart... go!

Wishlists

2010-09-19T19:22:00.000-07:00

It's not even close to new years yet and I'm already thinking of my new list. I guess its because only one thing is glaringly obvious....

My wishlist: Remove unreliable people from my life.

Seems so simple, but this is a truely pervaisive problem! I'm so glad I can rely on Mr. Awesome, my family and a few close friends cause most of the time - man, I'd just lose my mind!

So after what feels like years of griping about people who cant show up for me, I'm making this a tangible "to-do"... writing it out for the world to see. So flake friends, unreliable coworkers and predictably terrible social climbers beware! You're on my hit list!

Taos!

2010-08-26T06:09:00.000-07:00

As you may know, early October I will be heading to Taos New Mexico with Habitat for Humanity. We will be building homes in a very deserving community and I am super excited.

Even more exciting is that today we got our "Tentative Itinerary"!!! See below:

Saturday, Oct. 2 - team arrives in ABQ (details on exactly where in the airport to meet will follow closer to the arrival date). We will be spending the evening at a hotel on downtown ABQ and having dinner together as a team.

Sunday, Oct. 3 - possible trip to see the balloon launch in the morning (our understanding is that this is very cool to see, yet very early, so we can decide as a team what we'd like to do). Late morning we will be leaving for Taos, which is about a 2.5-3 hours away from ABQ. We will have free time that day in Taos to explore the area.

Monday, Oct. 4 - our first work day! We will meet with the construction supervisor at the jobsite for a jobsite orientation and then we will be put to work! The jobsite is in Questa, which is about 45 minutes from Taos. We will likely be working on the inside of the house. Monday evening there will be a welcome dinner at a restaurant (TBD) in Taos. There will be another GV team joining us for this dinner. Our understanding is they will be at the same hotel and working at the same jobsite as us - we're awaiting more details on the logistics of this, but it should be a lot of fun to have another team there and meet some more new friends!

Tuesday Oct. 5 - work day, dinner as a team and free time in evening.

Wednesday, Oct. 6 - day off to expore the Taos area.

Thursday, Oct. 7 - work day - also this is the day we will meet the family whose house we are building (always a wonderful experience!). They will make frito pies for us - either for lunch or dinner (not sure yet).

Friday, Oct. 8 - our last work day

Saturday, Oct. 9 - an early start to head back to ABQ so everyone can make their early afternoon flights or continue on their own travels.

So far the packing list is HELLA SUNSCREEN and old clothes. What else should I bring?

New On Etsy!

2010-08-21T18:28:00.001-07:00

Yes, I've caught the Etsy bug an opened an Etsy shop. I've posted some vintage pins courtesy of Grandma Irene (the shop namesake) and will soon post hand made clips and earrings.

Enjoy!

Y'all know what time it is...

2010-08-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

So I'm looking for a new watch... and as much as I love the "Build your own watch" tool at fossil.com I am still in love with this $160 Michael Kors watch.

The next goal is to find a way to fit this into my budget. Oy.

They call it... puppy love...

2010-07-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

And he will be named Hank. And he will be the cutest.

Planning

2010-07-11T17:01:00.000-07:00

So I'm a big kid now, and boy is there a lot to sort out.

A few months ago, after a terrible 4 month run in with bed bound sickness, I put together a list of things that I wanted to achieve.

Of this list, I have only knocked off one thing.

Even worse, I've decided that I want a dog. For Christmas.

This is putting some pressure on me to travel before the new year, because once I have a critter of love, I feel I will likely be home bound.

So tonight I'm taking some time to sort myself out, get on track and plan! Ready... set... go!

Suggestions?

Tiny Delights

2010-06-17T08:29:00.000-07:00

I've been rocking the multiple mini meals for the last few weeks now in hopes that this will speed up my metabolism. What I've actually found is that it's a great way to break up the day and make time fly by faster. I don't just look forward to lunch now, I look forward to 11:00 and 3:00 instead.

Along the lines of these mini meals, I've been really hankering to try out tapas. I'm already well versed in the asian take on the idea, with over 12 Dim Sum (translated literally into Tiny Delight) restaurants under my belt. Now on to this Spanish take!

First decision is weather to check out Nyood or Coca. Both have excellent recommendations, but I have a feeling location will be the prevailing factor.

Movin on up..

2010-04-13T16:42:00.000-07:00

So I'm moving!! A Snazzy new place in King West, sooo excited! But I'm also a little bit nervous. I feel like there's more pressure now to be successful in my career, to pay the bills and to be a responsible adult. And there's a lot I'll be giving up too. I have to admit, I'm living a bit of the high life now. I pay discounted rent, and use the extra money for whatever I want. I get my nails done with my friends, buy $13 bottles of wine, have a sweet gym membership and get new race gear for my triathlons. But I love my new place so much that I will happily be house poor for next 5 years.

And besides, when have love what else do you need?

Live great, full.

2010-04-10T21:23:00.000-07:00

Kinda sparse at the moment... But in general, these are the things I must do before I die.

Before 25
Spend some quality time with my Bro and his lady
Ride an electric bull at the Calgary Stampede
Take a weeks vacation to do good works for others
Have a girls weekend in Vegas
Wint a medal for a Sprint Triathlon
Take an intro comp sci course
Have a veggie garden on a condo balcony

Before 30
Learn to surf on a week retreat to Hawaii
Complete Ironman Lake Placid in under 14 hours
Clear 90k
Get a dog
Visit every province in Canada
Celebrate St. Patricks Day in Boston, and Mardi Gras in New Orleans

Before I die
Fall perpetually in love with a motivating and strong partner
Start my own business
Live in Montreal
Spread as much love and bliss as possible

Post Graduate Studies

2010-02-22T16:03:00.000-08:00

I really like this article from feministing on the selection of degree titles, and the associated fall out. I went through the exact same thing, trying to decide if I should do my Master's in Equity Studies legimately, or under a more Business (see: less bra burning) field with secret electives in Equity Studies courses.

I think my father still believes that I did my Bachelor's in American Studies and Law rather than Equity Studies and law. I figured it was better to just avoid that topic than re-hash the arguement we repeatedly had about how Equity Studies was a waste of a degree that would not only amount to nothing in itself, but hinder other opportunities in my future. Similar to my grade 12 shock of being told to take "Gay Straight Alliance Member" off of my University applications, because, you know, no liberal arts institution would see past my 93% average and membership on student council and every other club and team to allow a potential dyke to their school. Woah guidance councellor. Woah.

Have Olympic Fever?

2010-02-20T09:43:00.001-08:00

Help make Women's Ski Jump an Olympic event for 2014.

That could have been me...

2010-02-18T15:43:00.000-08:00

So I'm doin my weekly run through of the pretty lady fashion blogs, and what??? My top shop dress. On the hanger, and again on a gal. Why do you taunt me?

The new face of sizeist airline policies

2010-02-17T08:04:00.000-08:00

Definately worth checking out this interesting editorial on the Kevin Smith v. Southwest Airlines debacle. Some notable excerpts:

"I also think of my tall, 300-pound friend who flies a lot for business, and is terrified that one day she'll suffer Smith's fate, then have to call her boss and say, "Yeah, I won't be able to make the meeting you were sending me to, and I might need to expense the cost of a second ticket, and if we want to make sure this never happens again, you'll have to pay twice what it would cost to send a thin person up front." And I think about the fact that she doesn't live in any of the few cities or one state in the entire country that prohibit discrimination based on body size. And I wonder, like she does, how long it would be before she lost her job to someone who fits better in a coach seat."

"I think of the thousand humiliations, small and large, most fat people have already endured in their lives -- the insults from family and "friends," the cow-calls on the street, the discrimination, the bullying, the news every day that their bodies constitute a horrifying crisis for the American public. I think of how dreadfully uncomfortable it is, physically and emotionally, to fly in a fat body that isn't bruised by the armrests and doesn't require a seatbelt extender, and how much worse it would be if I weighed significantly more, like some of my family members and dearest friends do. I think of how few people would be willing to raise the kind of fuss Kevin Smith has (let alone how few fat folks could get so many people to listen) because they would automatically be too ashamed of themselves if a flight attendant made a public spectacle of removing them from an aircraft."

"And then I read Southwest's apology to Smith, which includes such gems as "If a Customer cannot comfortably lower the armrest and infringes on a portion of another seat, a Customer seated adjacent would be very uncomfortable and a timely exit from the aircraft in the event of an emergency might be compromised if we allow a cramped, restricted seating arrangement." And I think, first, "If we allowed a cramped, restricted seating arrangement? Because 'The Greyhound of the Skies' is positively roomy when there are no fat people on board?" And second, I think, "Translation: Fat paying customers' fully expected discomfort only becomes a problem for us if it also makes the paying customers we care about uncomfortable."

Hillbilly Chic

2010-02-17T07:46:00.000-08:00

I love the dichotomy in this picture. Pretty ladies and rustic tools. Amazing.

Mable Peabody must be a badass chick, lookin smokin hot while repairing your chainsaw.

Crimson and Clover...

2010-02-14T22:27:00.000-08:00

I'm seeing red!!

Everywhere I look there they are. The red lips of this season.

As an avid follower of fashion blogs, these red devils have been taughting me since early fall. From Paris to Helsinki, this look is slowly creeping from Hipster fashion to dominate mainstream and runways alike.

Now I am one of those unlucky people who has never looked right pulling off this kind of look. In fact, I'm the girl who puts the foundation on under gloss just to minimize any hint of an accidental red lip (ala twiggy).

So whats a girl to do? I think I'm ready to take the plunge! Do I ease in? Start with a gentle mauve? Or should I just go full blown? Not sure if this is necessarily something I can handle on my own though, the subtleties of undertones and colourings seem to have a hightened importance with a darker shade. I think a MAC consultation is in order as soon as this holiday weekend ends and we can get back to important business (like lipstick shopping).

Canadian Music Week

2010-02-14T10:00:00.000-08:00

So Canadian Music Week is coming and this year I am definately buying a pass. That means 5 shows for $60.00. Definately worth it for me.

Still looking at the list, and they're adding new things all the time, but as of right now my 5 picks will be:

10-MAR-10 CMW: JASON COLLETT LEE'S 19+ $21.00
11-MAR-10 CMW: TIMBER TIMBRE GREAT HALL ALL AGES $21.00
12-MAR-10 CMW: HANDSOME FURS EL MOCAMBO 19+ $15.75
13-MAR-10 CMW: CONSTANTINES / GREAT LAKE SWIMMERS / RURAL ALBERTA ADVANTAGE ROYAL YORK HOTEL ALL AGES $36.75
14-MAR-10 CMW: DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN OPERA HOUSE ALL AGES $20.00

Jason Collett I could give or take. And still considering doing Born Ruffians on the 14th instead of Dillinger Escape Plan. But all of the rest, I'm super pumped for. Especially the line up at the Royal York Hotel - I think that will definately be the place to be for this years festival. So excited! CMW never lets me down.

Pretty little things..

2010-02-14T08:07:00.000-08:00

Some things I love for Spring. I will bite my tongue and try my best to not buy anything...but... its a free for all if I see something similar for cheap in vintage!

A roomy floral tapestry tote.

Carved vintage posts

Pretty lace. Enough said.

Show some love! Spread it round.

2010-02-11T22:28:00.000-08:00

Tired of Teddy Bears and Cheesy romantic comedies? Valentine's Day doesn't have to be all about self indulgence or consumerism - it can be great opportunity to connect with your love ones and try something new.

Consider taking your love to an awareness march to remember sisters who have also been loved. Help to raise awareness and seek justice for the heinous and unimaginable violence that has taken the lives of over 500 missing and murdered Aboriginal Women in Canada.

The rally will begin at 12 pm at Police HQ, 40 College St. at Bay and will go to the Coroner’s Office, 26 Grenville St. Gathering with food immediately to follow at U of T’s Centre for Women and Trans People (563 Spadina Ave). Check out this link for more information.

Looking for some fun with your girlfriends? Celebrate your fantastic breasts and help those in needs by checking out Secrets From Your Sisters Dead Bra Day. Bring in a “dead” bra and receive a 20% discount towards the purchase of a new one. In an effort to do their part to help those who are less fortunate, the store will donate any bras in good condition to the Women’s Own Detox Centre Fund (Toronto General and Western Hospital Foundation) for women recovering from drug addiction. Clean out your closet, donate to others, plus you get 20% your purchase of some sexy new threads!

If you prefer to stick to a more traditional Valentine's Gift perhaps consider opting for fair trade, organic chocolates made right here in Toronto. Check out Delight for this socially conscious twist on a classic.

No matter how you choose to spend this day, I hope its filled with lots of love and laughter, in whatever way you prefer for that to be shown. Even though a lot of people have gripes with the forced romance and consumerism usually associated with Valentine's Day, I try to see it the positive and use it as an opportunity to do some good with the ones you love. What could be a better gift than to share that feeling?

Feeling Dainty? You must be giving head!

2010-02-11T21:53:00.000-08:00

Check out this link, from Jezebel.com

Women's Last Stand

2010-02-11T21:44:00.000-08:00

Charger Super Bowl Ad Parody, from Feministing.

I've always loved course selection time!!

2010-02-10T16:22:00.000-08:00

Finally picked my courses! Still looking for some type of volunteering experience where I can give back and support others, but I think this is a good start.

I kind of wish I had thought of this earlier. As I started looking I found lots of interesting continuing education courses at U of T that I would've sat in on. Yeah I'm a nerd, that's ok. But all of the time I've had to read lately has really made me realize how much I actually genuinely like to analyze and discuss, and to genuinely learn new things. Unfortunately, I just can't see that happening for the warmer months...but definately something to keep in mind for next winter!

For the Spring, I've decided to check out Good for Her, a "cozy and comfortable" sex shop geared towards third wave feminists. I've never been to a course like this, but it came recommended by a great friend! Although I try to keep my bedroom self out of the public sphere (lady in the streets), I think it might be a fun, spicy thing to try! Plus who doesn't secretly want to be an incredible, giving, lover!

My personal selections will be "how to drive your man wild with pleasure" and "giving great head". Although, I do have a secret curiousity about the muff diving (for real, thats what its called) and gspot courses. Maybe for summer?

I'm also trying to convince one of my girlfriends to take an MTV video recreation dance course with me at Flirty Girl Fitness. It's in a great spot, very close to my work, and looks like a great time! Speaks to me in particular because its only 4 weeks, and you have a clear product at the end. Plus you get to dress up and be all cute and sassy, dancing up a storm! Basically a recreation of my bedroom circa 1992, wearing pearls and lace gloves, dancing on my bed pretending to be madonna.

Spring Planning

2010-02-08T06:08:00.000-08:00

I'm really excited to get back to having a life again. I don't want to waste any time once I'm well, so today I've decided to use this recovery period a bit more productively! Work toward hitting the ground running so to speak!

My goal for today is to find some sort of class or activity to look forward to for spring. So far I'm looking at George Brown College, Ryerson and City of Toronto but haven't found anything that sounds too amazing yet.

My interests are pretty diverse, so we'll see where I end up. I could do some sort of team sport or fitness thing? But secretly I'd like to take some type of crafting course. Maybe learn how to sew? Or perhaps related to cooking, like amazing chopping techniques? I remember in University my friends Mom had taken a University cooking program just to learn how to host sick dinner parties with professional presentation techniques. That sounds like something I'd definately be interested in, and it will help with developing my domestic diva street cred.

Kind of a bummer that school took overly so strongly the last little while. I wish I had maintained more hobbies because it seems like they're not readily accessible for someone just starting!

I remember when I was little I had so many awesome things going on after school and in the summers, I had clear skills and projects I could be proud of. I guess I'm looking for that similar feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day. Unfortunately I'm not really getting that from my job right now (maybe that's something to look into as well?) so hopefully I can find something fun in my hunt today! Wish me luck!

Helsinki Street Fashion

2010-02-07T02:03:00.000-08:00

It's so rare to look at these fashion blogs and find 1) a man 2) that looks hetero or 3) that is attractive - needless to say finding all three doesn't happen much. I was actually so pleased and surprised at this find that I had to repost. Now he's not overwhelmingly trendy or fashionable, but his hair, shades, jeans, shoes are all in check. He's got some of that Urban Outfitters, neutral country hipster look that I kind of love... especially the Buddy Holly buzz hair and the Austin Readers. And I appreciate the minimalist, earth toned, style. But more importantly, I appreciate that he still looks like a good looking, masculine, dude.

This man is the rockabilly hipster of my dreams.

Heyaayaayaaay, It's a party in the USA!

2010-02-06T12:58:00.000-08:00

Super Bowl Sunday. Traditionally this has been a place for corporate marketing, testosterone and cholestorol to meet and collectively kick back on the couch with a beer. But in recent weeks it seems like we've had some new additions to this party! Namely; homophobia, pro-life posturing and domestic violence! Whaaaaat. Even the Saintsations can't make that palatable!

So whats the deal? Well, you may have heard about the gay dating website whose ad has been rejected from appearing in the coveted Super Bowl spot. The ad, said to feature two men kissing, "is not within the Network's Broadcast Standards for Super Bowl Sunday". In some ways this decision is not much of a shocker, considering the target market for the Super Bowl is not normally associated with the gay rights movement. But you would think in terms of legal equity that there would be obvious discrimination concerns here. Apparently only homo erotic ass grabs and chest bumping are appropriate standards for broadcasting on this day, and big sweaty men can only tackle eachother if they agree to have sex with female prostitutes and gay bash after.

More recently, reports have surfaced that CBS has collaborated with "Focus on the Family" for an anti choice ad to run during the super bowl. Now clearly freedom of speech entitles everyone the right to spread their message, including pro life advocacy groups like the one mentioned above. But the issue here appears to be not simply that the network has allowed this anti abortion ad to run, but that in a suprising move, it has taken a personal stance in helping to create and improve the message.

I suppose this anti feminist decision seems to fit well with the theme of the superbowl of a whole - an event with an obvious focus on power and domination tied directly to notions of masculinity that are associated with violence and physical aggression. An event where a man's worth is tied to his assertiveness, and a woman's tied to her ability to shake it in sparkles, or serve Martha Stewart's Nacho Platter. Gendered capitalism at its best!

Perhaps it is for this reason that "workers at women's shelters, and some journalists, have long reported that Super Bowl Sunday is one of the year's worst days for violence against women in the home."

There has been a lot of back and forth on the accuracy of this statement, if the Super Bowl really is the worst day of domestic abuse that women annually face. But regardless, perhaps we should all consider the ways that our choices can impact someone elses experience of this night. Feministing recommends...

"...if you know someone who you think might need a place to stay on Sunday night let them know you'd be happy to have them. If someone calls you on Sunday in desperation (spoken or unspoken) do eveything in your power to provide a safe place for them. You may not be able to get them to leave forever but providing them with a place to stay for the night will help them in their long struggle to freedom. And if you don't give a crap about football, go volunteer at a shelter."

Retail therapy

2010-02-06T03:41:00.000-08:00

As more and more interesting online vintage stores go up, I'm more and more drawn to making purchases over the internet. This week I made my first order from modcloth and it arrived just yesterday. The shipping was fairly reasonable and the sizing was accurate (although not very roomy in the bust area). All in all I'm pleased with the purchase, but I just regret that it took me until 1:00 the morning of surgery to be scared enough (and desperate enough for a distraction!!) to actually pull the trigger!

Let the right one in?

2010-02-05T16:33:00.000-08:00

So I went for coffee with my dear friend the other day, swapping stories about relationships both current and former, and strategies for dealing with men.
I gave her my most sincere, and in my eyes accurate, recommendation for how to be happy and successful in a relationship.

I told her that no matter what happens and who you meet, you should always have an exit strategy. You should always be able to stand on your own two feet, have your own job, friends, interests, money, support network, etc, so that you don't have a false sense of dependance that makes you put up with things you shouldnt, or, so that if you do end up with a partner and it doesnt work out, that you have the ability to leave relatively*** unscathed.

Now I thought this was a perfectly rational, well thought out plan. And I'm not going to lie, this has been my personal approach for some time now - be awesome on your own, keep boys on the periphery, and dont get hurt!

I guess I was just surprised at her response. And surprised to finally acknowledge my own lack of trust that has been lurking under the surface for some time now.

The idea that I might have become so guarded feels weird, especially since I was always the sweet big heart that jumped into love with both feet. Now I'm acutely aware of my own fragility. I don't want to be broken. Does this mean I have become bitter? Or just smarter as I've grown older?

When can you tell when you are being smart and precautious, or when you're screwing yourself over by being scared?

***yeah right.

On the hunt for a pretty party dress...

2010-02-04T12:33:00.000-08:00

So as a general rule of thumb - you can pretty much find the girliest vintage thing out there and I will almost always love it. Embroidered Rose? Amazing! Smock fit? Whatever. $115 US dollars in total to buy and ship from the UK? No problem. As long as it has that pretty, whimsical air to it, I'm almost always down! But why oh why does it have to be almost the exact shade of my skin, pretty much ensuring my complete wash out?

Embroidered Rose Smock Dress - View All - Dresses - Topshop USA

Oh Topshop Embrodiered Smock Dress, how you tease me.

My loves

2010-02-04T08:49:00.000-08:00

I just bought these new boots, for what I am hoping is my only shoe purchase of the month. I will hold out for some black, subtly feminine oxford flats, when the snow melts and my bank account rebuilds some buffer room.

They're super cute, flexible leather with highly adjustable straps. The heels make that clicking sound when I walk that makes me feel all pretty lady like, even when I'm just rockin my jeans. The only problem is they have this ridiculous pointed toe. It doesn't compromise the fit enough that I can't wear them, but just enough that I know I shouldn't pick these shoes if I'm wandering far from home... and that in the back of my mind I'm reminded that one day I will have horribly mangled feet. But pain is beauty, right?

The ramblings of a future Morphine addict

2010-02-04T07:43:00.000-08:00

What kind of person do you want to be? What are you hoping to accomplish that you haven't?

I've been thinking a lot lately about what kind of unfinished business I'd be leaving behind if something were to happen to me. What types of things that I've always valued but have lost time for, or always would "do later" but still haven't quite fit in. What would it take to kick start you into living the kind of life you pictured for yourself as a kid?

I know that some changes in my life have definately sparked the momemtum that I have recently needed. I've been able to re evaluate the direction of my life, and the people in it, and formulate a plan for keeping and emphasizing what's important.

Family, friends, equity, health, activism, beauty, ideas and love. Those have always been elements of my life that have helped guide my decision making. But some elements, especially related to following through on ideas, and taking them from abstract to concrete, is certainly something that I will be looking to do more.

I've realized that as much fun as different events at bars can be, that there is a more fulfilling option for how I can spend my weekends. Getting in touch with the types of volunteering, activism, networking and support that made up such a big part of my adolescence will be my first order of business once I am back to my real life and through being sick.

And It's written and published now, I have to be held to it.